Emotionaless
by DyedPink
Summary: Lily is abused at home and skips a year at Hogwarts. She is perfeactly fine and all alone until a certain James Potter sticks his head in.
1. The Begining

A/n: I know I shouldn't start a new fic but I got a really good idea! As always R&R!

A young girl with long red hair and a pale complexion sat curled up on a seat on a burgundy steam engine. Her thin arms were wrapped around her equally thin frame that was mottled with half-hidden bruises. The girls' lifeless red hair was covering her face but if you could have seen it her right cheek was the rich purple color of a bruise.

**_FLASHBACK_**

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_"You witch!" a drunken man slurred as he staggered towards his eleven year old daughter, "You're never gonna make it to that school of yours, not after I'm through with you!" The man stepped forwards and backhanded the girl which caused her head to whip back where it crashed into the wall. She whimpered with pain and her father kicked her in the stomach which caused her to double over with agony. She whimpered with each blow until she could bear the pain no longer and she passed out._

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**_END FLASHBACK_**

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The girl glanced out the window with hooded eyes and she saw a group of four boys making their way across the station. They were all laughing at some joke as they disappeared onto the train and out of the young girls mind. The girl shivered and hugged her legs closer to herself as she surveyed the station. Everywhere she looked she saw happy children hugging their parents goodbye. The girl thought about how her mother had sent her out to catch the underground to the train station once her cuts had been tended. It would have been too dangerous to ask her father to drive her to the station in his drunken state. 

Suddenly she was broken out of her thoughts by the four laughing boys that she had seen out in the station. They didn't notice her until one of them almost sat on her.

"Oy Sirius! There's someone already sitting there" A boy with unruly jet black hair exclaimed as the girl almost frantically looked around. She was still curled up in a fetal position but now her emerald green eyes were unveiled. In them it seemed that you could see all of the sadness of the world. The boy who had noticed her had discerned the sadness held within them and now had a downcast look.

Upon seeing her, the boy who had almost sat upon her said "Oh sorry there, didn't mean to" But stopped when he noticed the bruise peeping out behind a curtain of red hair, "What happened there?"

The girl blushed and looked down murmuring "Nothing".

"What's your name?" a boy with light brown hair and burning amber eyes inquired.

"Lily Evans" the girl whispered as everyone leaned closer to hear her.

"Well I'm Remus Lupin," the boy with the amber eyes said "this is Sirius Black," he pointed to the boy with dark brown hair who had almost sat on her, "James Potter" he gestured to the boy with unruly jet black hair and warm chocolate eyes, "and last but not least Peter Pettigrew" he pointed to the last boy who had blonde hair and watery blue eyes.

"Do you mind if we sit here" Peter asked tentatively.

"I don't mind" Lily said as she moved even closed to the window. The boys sat down and started to quietly talk amongst themselves.

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Lily limped slowly off the train. She slipped away from the boys who she had shared a compartment with and blended into the crowds. It was a talent she had acquired some years ago when she didn't want to be noticed by anyone. However this still didn't work with her father. Shying away from that road of thought Lily noticed a huge man shouting for the first years. She made here way through the crowd towards him. She kept her head down and followed everyone else as they made their way toward a small fleet of boats. Lily slowly walked up to the giant and tugged on his sleeve when she noticed that everyone else had clambered into boats and there was nowhere left to sit.

"Can I share a boat with you" she asked tentatively.

"O' course you can lassie! What's yer name?" the giant asked as he climbed into the boat.

"Lily Evans." Lily replied quietly, still keeping her face down so as to shield the bruise marking it. 

She climbed into the boat as the giant replied "I'm Rubeus Hagrid, but jus' call me Hagrid. Ye know nobody else 'as ever 'ad the courage to come and sit with me on the way to 'ogwarts. They all seemed rather scared o' me for some reason." Hagrid pondered this question for the rest of the ride while Lily silently took in their surroundings. They had boarded the boats in a small harbour about a hundred meters away from the train station. The area around the boats was surrounded by trees which towered high above the eleven year olds. It almost felt like something was watching you, however whenever you glanced around there would be nothing watching you. The feeling sent shivers cascading down Lily's back. 

The inky black water that the small fleet of boats was gliding through had a thin cover of mist which added to the shivers running along Lily's back. Suddenly the castle came into view as the boats rounded a corner and left the trees behind. The parapets stood tall stabbing into the sky and the windows gleamed into the darkness like a candle lit at midnight. When the boat landed at the edge of the lake it took Lily a moment to realize where she was. She waved good bye to Hagrid and slowly joined the back of the throng of students making their way to the front door of the castle. Lily kept her eyes on the ground and barely registered what the teacher that opened the door for them had said before the professor swept away. Lily quickly glanced around her surroundings before the teacher came back to take them to the Sorting Ceremony.

She led them into a room which housed 4 tables full of students and one table at the head of them all that had teachers sitting at it. As Lily gazed about with wide eyed wonderment she spotted the boys who had sat in her compartment during the train ride at one of the tables already._ So they must be second years._ Lily suddenly glanced upwards as she saw many of her peers do.  She gasped in awe of the sight which met her eyes. The ceiling was covered in what looked like the real night sky. As Lily stared at the vast picture of the sky which was spread above her she vaguely registered that someone or something was singing. 

Suddenly Lily started as she heard her name being called. The teacher gestured at her to put the odd looking hat on a rickety old stool onto her head.

_Ah yes. Hello Miss Evans_

_What?_

_Miss Evans, if you had been listening to my song you would know that I can read your thoughts._

_Oh! I'm so sorry I didn't listen to your song! I'm sure it was wonderful!_

_Why thank you! If I could I would be blushing! However I must decide which house you must go in._

_Which house do you think is best for me?_

_Well you would do well in almost any house. You are very smart , loyal, cunning and brave. Which are all attributes of each of the different houses._

_Well isn't there one attribute that I have more of?_

_No, not really. I believe I will give you a choice. Which house would you like to go in?_

_Um…__ I think Ravenclaw sounds nice._

_Very well,_ RAVENCLAW

Lily slowly made her way to the end of the Ravenclaw where she sat down amid whispers. She could hear people talking about how long she had been up there, her temporary limp and of course the bruises adorning her body. Lily barely listened as Professor Dumbledore; the headmaster gave the start of term announcements. Lily put a small amount of food on her plate which she slowly ate. Everywhere around her students were talking and laughing oblivious to the tiny girl sitting at the end of the table.

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Do you like it? I know that it's sorta angst but hey. I'm gonna be skipping ahead to fifth year. Please review! I beg of you!


	2. Fifth Year

A/N: Here we are again! Well I'll just let you read! Oops the disclaimer is for this chapter and the last one.

Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling the rest belongs to moi! 

Lily slowly walked alongside the cool castle walls as she made her way to her next class. It was Transfiguration. Lily got top marks in all of her classes but that still didn't bring any attention to her. All Ravenclaws were smart. Lily didn't really think that anyone – other than the teachers actually knew her. She was merely acquaintances with all her classmates. They came, they went, they never actually got to know her. Why would they she was just a part of the scenery.

Lily remember last year when her scenery changed dramatically.

**_FLASHBACK___**

_"Lily! You have an owl darling!" Lily's mother yelled to her red hair daught during the summer between second and third year._

_"Thanks Mom," Lily said as she came crashing into the kitchen, "Good thing Dad isn't here or else I'd be gutted." Lily gently took the letter from the owl as she sat down in a chair. Smoothing out the creases she read:_

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_Your schoolwork for the past two years has been remarkable. Therefore we would like to offer you the option to advance into fourth year, and therefore skip your third year. Be assured that if you do choose to advance into fourth year it will entail much work, however we believe that it would be a suitable challenge for you._

_If you do wish to advance into fourth year the book list for both third and fourth year is enclosed. I suggest that you get both so that you will be able to cover all of the third year knowledge in addition to the fourth year knowledge._

_We await your owl._

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Deputy Headmistress_

_Lily Replied back immediately with one word._

_Yes._

**_END FLASHBACK_**

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Lily walked into the Transfiguration classroom and smiled at Professor McGonagall who smiled back.

"Good Morning Professor!"

"Good Morning Lily!" Lily took a seat at the back of the room and started to take her books out of her bag. Suddenly something or rather someone sat on her.

"Oy! Sorry there didn't mean to sit…" The boy trailed off as he saw her distinctive red hair and glittering green eyes. "What's your name? I thought I knew every fifth years' name."

"Lily Evans."

"Aren't you that girl from the train; that I almost sat on? Shouldn't you be in fourth year?"

"I skipped a year."

"Oh. Do you remember me?"

"Yes." Lily responded as James, Remus and Peter gathered around Sirius, "Anyways, I'll be going now seeing how as you probably want to sit here. Goodbye."

"Wait! Sit with us! You shouldn't be the one to move." James exclaimed as Lily turned away.

"That's ok. I'll move" Lily responded as she continued to walk away.

"That girl's strange." Peter commented as he sat down in her vacated seat. James shrugged and proceeded to follow Peters' lead and sat down.

_~*^*~_

"Hey look! It's the little mudblood!" Lucious Malfoy, a Slytherin yelled as he backed Lily into a corner with his clique arrayed behind him, "should we have some fun with her?" Malfoy asked as he poked Lily in the ribs. Lily winced as Malfoy pushed her backwards and his hands slammed against one of her bruises. Malfoy moved forward menacingly until he was inches away from Lily's face. "Aww is the little mudblood scared" Lucious taunted as his friends also came a few steps closer.

_~*^*~_

James was walking down the hall to the dungeons where the Gryffindors had Potions with the Slytherins when he noticed a group of aforementioned Slytherins surrounding and young girl with a head of blood red hair. In front of her Lucious Malfoy stepped menacingly closer to the terrified girl

_~*^*~_

Suddenly a figure burst through the crowd of Slytherin watchers and tackled Lucious and wrested his wand from him. Standing up the figure was revealed to be James Potter.

"What were you doing to her!?" James exclaimed as pointed both wands at the blonde haired boy lying sprawled on the floor. 

"Nothing, just talking," Lucious said as he got up and wiped imaginary dust off of his robes, "That's not against the law, is it _Mr. Potter?_ If I could have my wand back?"

James resignedly gave the wand back to Lucious as he watched the other boy stalk way to the potions classroom with the rest of the Slytherins following behind him. James turned to where the young girl had been, but when he looked he saw that she was gone.

_~*^*~_

James ignored the girls gesturing for him to sit by them as he walked over to where Sirius sat in the potions classroom. Wondering who the red haired girl that the Slytherins had been harassing was.


	3. Memories

A/n: Thanks to all of my lovely reviewers – tals, anonomus, tolazytsignin, opal.star, Angelxd14, adrianne, WindRider-Damia, Dark Fire. Thanks all! Please keep on reviewing!

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to JKR. 

Lily slowly walked down the stairs away from the suit of armor which guarded the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room. She ignored the world around her as she slowly walked into the great hall as she concentrated on trying to figure out why a sense of foreboding shadowed her thoughts.

Suddenly an ocher owl glided down in front of Lily. _What's this? I never get mail. _As Lily deftly opened the envelope a shock ran through body and a picture formed in her mind. _A girl with red hair lay in a pool of her own life's blood; an emerald encrusted hilt jutting out of her chest, stark against the red of her blood and the navy of the sky. _

She suppressed a gasp and then silently got up and half walked half ran out of the hall. No one noticed. Lily ran up stairs and down corridors until she had no idea where she was. Lily gazed out a window looking down on the Whomping willow as she calmed her thoughts and steeled herself to read the letter. 

Slowly she smoothed the creases and read.

_December 17th                     _

_Dear Miss Evans, _

_           It is our regret to inform you that Jennifer Evans and Thomas Evans have been killed._

_           On December 10th Voldemort entered your parents' house and administered the killing curse to the aforementioned deceased. Your sister Petunia was not at the house at the time, however she called the muggle police. The funeral is being held on December 20th at the Presbyterian cemetery in __London_. __

_           You must stay at Hogwarts over holidays. During the summer you will be staying with the Potter family while your sister will be living with you Aunt and Uncle. We wished to have you live with your sister, however due to your relatives dislike for magic we had no other choice._

_           We at the ministry are very sorry for your loss._

_Sincerely,_

_Alabaster Knudle_

Lily gasped at the thought of what all of this mess of word meant as she let herself be washed away with memories.

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_A little girl with red braids running down her back laughed merrily as her father chased her around a playground._

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_A thirteen year old girl looked out of a window in a castle. Her red hair streamed out of the window past her face like a banner. Through the cloud of hair the girl could see a boy being led to the Whomping Willow where he entered underneath the tree. Short minute's later three boys appeared beside the tree and transformed into three animals. A stag, a dog and a rat. They too entered underneath the willow. Moments later a wolf, stag, dog and rat exited the willow. Hours later the girl still standing vigil at the window saw the animals come back. The wolf went under the tree and the other three transformed back. A tuft of messy black hair could be discerned on one of the figures._

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_A girl with blonde hair and blue eyes sneaked up behind her red haired sister and yelled "BOO" as her sister jumped in fright but then laughed as she saw who it was._

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_A woman stood in a kitchen baking cookies with her red haired daughter. Both of their faces were covered with dough as if there had been a food fight with dough._

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_A girl sat silently at the end of a long table filled with students. Three other long tables were surrounding her full of chattering students. Nobody noticed the little girl at the end of the table with a downcast face._

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_A man hit his daughter with force enough to send her reeling back into a wall._

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_A woman tended a girl's cuts._

Lily slowly sank down to the floor, overcome with grief. _My life sucks. My parents are dead because of me. It doesn't matter that Dad hit me. I still love him… it was always just the alcohol's fault, not mine. And this… this is all my fault.  If I wasn't a witch Voldemort wouldn't have killed them. It would have been better if I hadn't been born. Nobody would even notice if I wasn't here. I have no friends, no one **would** notice. _With her mind made up Lily slowly got up and started walking as if in a trance. Lily followed the corridors up, always up, until she was at the tallest tower. 

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A/n: I know it's a really short chapter but I'll update soon. This just was the perfect place to stop sorry! I'll probably update tomorrow or something. Bye peeps! 

Don't forget to review! Please!


	4. Life

A/n: Thanks to all my reviewers! 

Shinning Crystal – Please don't harass me! ;-) I'm sorry that Lily is in Ravenclaw but I really needed Lily to be sort of away from everyone else with no friends so I couldn't put her in a normal house sry! And I did update fast! (I'm so evil!) * cackles *

LilyPrincess – I'm Updating! Thanx for reviewing! 

WindRider-Damia – Bwahaha! I feel so evil a half cliffy! Mwahaha! Ok I'll stop now… Thanx for reviewing!

Snowflake – Thanx for the review!

opal.star – I'm so evil leaving you with a cliffy! Oh well I'm updating as fast as I can!

Brooke – Yay you want to read it! Yipee! Hee hee!  Hey it rhymes! I'm a poet and I didn't know it! I'm not losing my mind…

Lizmaurder4eva – Well I mean it is her dad so she is sad. She used have fun with her dad until he became a drunk. (see flashback part) wow and you still wanna read it! I'm amazed! This is the happiest day of my life *Jumps around room bouncing off of walls*

Thanx again all of my lovely reviewers! 

Ok I'm so sappy! I'm gonna be crying as I write this! I'm sorry I didn't update sooner but I was really sick. But here is the chappie!

Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to JK Rowling.

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Lily slowly looked around herself. She was standing on the top of the North tower. The tallest tower in the school. All around her she could see life. She could see things that she didn't deserve to see. The forbidden forest teeming with plants and animals, the grounds full of a certain _joie de vivre_, the castle that was magic and life in itself. So many beautiful things that weren't fit for her eyes to lay sight on.

_I should never have been born. All that my life has brought has been sorrow and disappointment. There's nothing special about me, I'm not smart, I'm not pretty, I have no friends and I have no talents. My life has only been a waste of breath in this world. _Lily bitterly thought as she gazed unseeingly at the sky which was darkening into a deep navy which reflected the girls' dark sombre mood. Lily gasped as the first drop of rain touched her upturned face the coolness and sweetness of it contrasting with the darkness of her mood. The wind blew up around her frail body and whipped her hair back as Lily opened her eyes and whispered "Goodbye."

Lily silently took out her wand and murmured a spell. Suddenly instead of holding a wand Lily held a knife. Lily gazed silently at the knife with a certain reverence. It had a curved silver blade which was oddly reminiscent of the wand which she had held, moments earlier. The willow hilt was encrusted with emerald jewels surrounded by silver settings. Lily looked over the tower edge at the ground miles below. She slowly and deliberately held the dagger to her chest and with a last breath she thrust it home. As if in slow motion, Lily slowly gasped and then slumped to the ground as her life blood seeped out of her. She closed her eyes for the last time and she knew no more.

_~*^*~_

James was walking down the hall to Charms which was first that day. He was silently laughing in his head as he remembered Severus Snape's and Lucious Malfoy's faces when they had been turned into girls that morning at breakfast. Those two Slytherins were James and his friends worst enemies, so it was with undoubtedly fitting sentiments with which the boys, who called themselves 'The Marauders' had pulled the prank. Suddenly he froze, in his mind's eye he could see a deathly frightening picture. _A girl with red hair lay in a pool of her own life's blood; an emerald encrusted hilt jutting out of her chest, stark against the red of her blood and the navy of the sky._

James knew that he had to help the girl from the image. With an unnerving surety James ran up corridors and across halls with calls of "Sorry about that!", "Coming through!" or simply "Excuse me!" Finally James stopped short in front of the oak door to the North tower. Impatiently he pulled at the handle of the door, and when it wouldn't come open, he cursed and kicked the door, stubbing his toe painfully in the process. 

Suddenly on a inspiration, James pulled out his wand and yelled "ALOHAMORA GOD DAMMIT!" The door came crashing open and James set to sprinting up the stairs to the top of the tower. When he got there he went white at the sight of a girl with red hair lay in a pool of her own life's blood; an emerald encrusted hilt jutting out of her chest, stark against the red of her blood and the navy of the sky.

Thinking quickly James exclaimed "Accio Shooting Star" as he knelt down by the prone figure. Suddenly he recognized her as Lily Evans. _The girl Sirius kept sitting on. He thought wryly. He then gently drew the knife out of her chest and dropped it when it changed back into a wand. He deftly caught his broomstick, which at that moment had come hurtling towards him from the broomshed on the other side of the school._

Gently, James sat Lily on his broom and then clambered on behind her. Then as quickly as he could, without letting the petit girl fall off of the broom he flew down to the hospital wing. _I only hope that it's not too late…_

A/N: I know I know this is really short. Sry. I'll tey to make them longer. Please review.


	5. Heaven

A/n: Helloha everybody! This is it! The long awaited next chapter! However I first have to thank all of my lovely reviewers! Merci beacoup!

SiLv[3]R – Thanks for the review! I'll try to make the chapters longer :-)

opal.star – eep! Please don't kill me! I'm only a lowly writer. I am updating * Points at fic below * See! See!

Hanna-chan – Thanx for the review!

Corinnne – I know that cliffies are evil. I promise that this one won't be a cliffy.

Lizmaurder4eva – Well I could be different and say that james was too late and lily dies. But I probably won't

WindRider-Damia – James little moment of precog will be explained in due time. (I feel like a seer or something! Tee hee) Anyways what is this Coneja Diabla? I wanna know now! Please tell me!

Shinning Crystal – someone thinks I'm a great writer! Yay!!!! Thank you very much for the review!

**iceangel** - Thank you for the review!

Avlyn – I know that updates are nice. So here is one! Thanx for the review!

Angelxd14 – thanx for the review!

Mooniala Trials – it is sorta sad isn't it. Oh well, thanks for the review!

Kerry – well you see she stays with the potters because she has to stay with a magical family because no one else in her family other than petunia know that she is a witch, so the ministry of magic doesn't want muggles knowing about witches and wizards. Therefore lily has to stay at a magical household which just happens to be the potters. Thank you for the review!

MandaB – holy huggy bears! It wasn't quick but I did update!

LadySiri – I'm glad that you love it!!

SSoCcErBaBe – thanx so much!

Jack – yay!!! That's wut I'm aiming for!

Ami N Aya – I'm continueing!

Phoenixia-Destiny-Past – thanx for reviewing!

Brittney – Thank you!

Alriadne – I'm updateing! I know it's been a long time but…

There we go! All reviewers thanked *check*

Just a thought, if you like my writing check out my other fic, Love Me Forever, Love Me For Always – Year one. It's a MWPP/L/A (Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, Lily and Arabella Figg) Romance will come later on in the upcoming stories. Please take a look at it!

Ok I know it's been a long time since I updated but I've 1) been really really busy 2) had exams and 3) had writers block… but I'm over that now so…

On with the fic!

When Lily awoke, her first impression was white. Pure clean white. _Am I in heaven? However Lily's groggy thoughts of heaven were washed away when the figure of the nurse came into focus. _Oh. Only the hospital wing. Why am I here? Oh… _All of a sudden memories of everything that had happened came rushing back. The letter. The knife. Everything._

Suddenly Madame Pomfrey came bustling over. "Hello dear. I see that you're awake. Professor Dumbledore would like to talk to you, do you feel up to it?" when Lily gently nodded her head the matron walked away and came back moments later with the Professor.

"Good morning Lily" Professor Dumbledore said as he sat down in the chair beside Lily's bed.

"H-hello P-p-professor" Lily stuttered back weakly.

"Do you remember what you did?"

Lily nodded.

"Lily I'd like to impress upon you the seriousness of your actions. I know that you have lost your parents and I greive with you, however why did you not simply discuss this with a friend, instead of taking such rash action? You could not think that no one would care if you took your life? Do you?"

"Well that's part of it Professor," Lily said timidly, "I don't have anyone who what care."

"What about your friends?"

Lily gave a harsh laugh. "That's a joke. I've never had any friends, just simple, borning , forgetful acquaintances."

"You could have come to one of your teachers or myself, Lily," Dumbledore said reprovingly, "However, I am not here to lecture you. If you ever feel the need to talk, Miss Evans, fell free to come by my office. Now although I believe that you have some visitors."

With that Professor Dumbledore exited the room and Lily could barely hear the Headmaster talking to somebody outside of the door. Suddenly, that somebody entered the room, along with three other somebodies.

 "Hello Lily," the Marauders chorused as they entered the room and made their way over to her bed.

"Uh. I mean…" Lily greeted them.

"So how are you?!" Sirius yelled in his 'indoor' voice.

"MR BLACK! Either be quiet or get out!" an exasperated Madam Pomfrey screeched from her office.

"Ok…"

"So how simply are you darling?" Remus asked as he pushed Sirius out of the way.

"Um…"

"That's great!" Peter exclaimed, "Can we go now?"

"No Peter! You can go if you want to but I'm not!" James said vehemently, speaking for the first time.

"And neither am I!" Remus and Sirius said at the same time.

"Jinx!" 

"Mhmm mmhm mhmhm!" Remus tried to say. 

"Remus, Remus, Remus. Now you can talk." James said as he turned away from his friends antics to Lily's bed, "So now really Lily? How are you?'

"Um… fine I guess." Lily ventured timidly, still staring at Remus and Sirius who were having a cat fight.

 "So…" James started, "Cut it out you guys!" James cuffed Sirius and Remus both in the ears.

"Sowwy…"

"We weally didn't mean to distwurb you…"

Lily at this point was staring at both of them, who had gotton down on their knees and were crawling towards her bed as if they were the plague. "Um… look it was really nice of you guys to come and see me and all, but I'm sort of tired…" Lily said; not looking any of them in the eyes.

"Oh. Okay. I guess we'll go then." James said as he started to walk away, "Bye Lily." Sirius and Peter joined him but Remus stayed behind for a moment.

"Lily, I know how you feel having lost someone close to you, I lost my brother when I was ten and he was only seven. If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here for you." Remus then stood up from where he was crouched by her bedside and exited the hospital murmuring a goodbye to Lily.

All Lily could do was stare.


	6. Thinking

Ok so here's the next chappie! I hope it's good. Some parts of the last one I didn't really like but… oh well.

JaCkie – I love those types of fics too! Like OMG! Sry… valley girl moment… anyways thanx for the review!

Hanna-chan – I'm surprised that I even have 50… I'm sure that you'll get more reviews, if you update then more ppl will see and you'll get more reviews.

Ami N Aya – ya I read OotP…. I thought it was lacking something, it's just there didn't seem too too much to the plot… but still it was good. Also… I don't think that it was true to how jk wrote in the other books… I dunno. Anyways thanx for reviewing!

MandaB – thanx so much, so encouraging you are!

Kerry – rawk on… tee hee I love that!

RoCkErChIcK – aww… tanks a wot! (thanks a lot)

Iceangel – thank you!

Alriadne – yeah I think that I need to slow it down a bit… thanks for reviewing!

No Name – that was twelve words! This is four, no wait it's 9 no! 12 ahhhh!!!

demon horse 900 – eeek!!! Sorry… *cowers  under desk*

Emma - :D lyz thanks you very much Miss Emma !

JerseyGirl03 – short and to the point… I like it. Thank you!

SprtieBabe – thank you!

freakyfroggurl22 – love the name…and I did update!

Itefaq – yay new reviewers!!!! Everybody throw popcorn at them! *hides* no I didn't mean it! Noooooo!!!! Anyways  thanks for the review!

Thank you all for your support!!

Ok you guys bigg announcement!

**If you have read this far before July 16th then you should go back and read the other chapters because I have made some/a lot of changes and this might not make sense if you don't go back and read them. If you don't want to read them all then at least go back and read chapter 5! Thank you and happy reading!**

Now onto the story…

_~*^*~_

_Why did they come visit me? Why would they care? They don't even know me and by all rights, I should be dead… wait a sec…_Lily called for Madame Pomfrey, the nurse to come. "Pardon me Madame Pomfrey, but how did I get here?"

"Oh darling, James Potter brought you in, on his broomstick actually. Quite a fright I a had there, seeing you limp in his arms and poor James covered in blood…"

"Oh." Lily said disappointed.

"Well, yes. You however need your rest. You've lost quite a bit of blood and you'll probably be in here for the rest of the week."

_Great four more days… _"Thank you  Madame Pomfrey." Lily said with a fake smile as she thumped her head back down on the pillow. _Oh well… might as well sleep…_

__~*^*~__

James quickly walked ahead of his friends, wanting to think alone for a while. _Why doesn't she like us? I mean, I only saved her life…_James thought bitterly as he entered a room furnished with multicolor beanbags and stone floors. It was a room that Peter had found accidentally in first year. He had walked by the suit of armor guarding it and had accidentally made the axe that the suit of armor was holding come crashing down. It was then that Peter had been made a part of the Marauders. The Marauders was a group of pranksters made up of Sirius, Remus, James and Peter. They were known by everyone throughout the school because of their brilliant pranks. Also, although unknown to the rest of the school, the Marauders had become animagi during the summer between fourth and fifth year. That is, everyone except for Remus. Remus was a werewolf; and the Marauders had become animagi to help their amber  eyed friend through his transformations. James had become a stag and therefore had been nicknamed Prongs. Sirius had become a dog, with fur as dark as his own black hair and his nickname was Padfoot. Peter's nickname was Wormtail, because he had become a rat. _Remus had been just as withdrawn as Lily is right now, before he met us._

 James flopped miserably down on a pink and purple polka-dotted bean bag chair, raking his hands through his perpetually messy dark brown hair.. _Does she even know that I found her on the tower? Why did I find her on that tower? I mean where did that premonition thingy come from? I'm pretty sure I'm not a seer or anything… nothing like that has ever happened to me before…James sat brooding for quiet minutes while he unconsciously  wormed little beans out of a hole in the faded bean bag he was sitting on. Suddenly James felt a quiet rumbling in his stomach. He glanced at his watch and found that it was dinner time. _My gosh___ what a hectic day this has been with finding Lily classes, pranks and visiting Lily. She really slept for a long time, for it to already be dinner…_

James made his way down to the Great Hall where he ate in silence. When James was finished he looked up with his chocolate brown eyes and found Dumbledore staring at him. He motioned for James to come with him, so James quickly excused himself and followed Dumbledore out of the hall.

_~*^*~_

"James I would like to ask you a few questions about the incident with Miss Evans this afternoon." Professor Dumbledore said as he sat down at his desk.

"Okay." James answered meekly, taking a sitting gingerly on the rickety old chair in front of the Headmasters desk. James looked around the room which he had become familiar with, due to his many detentions. The room was full of tidbits and gadgets and all manner of miscellaneous items. Some muggle some magical. Another part of the office had floor to ceiling bookcases filled with all manner of books. The other walls in the office however were covered with pictures of previous Headmasters.

"First of all, how did you find Miss Evans?" Dumbledore asked jolting James out of his reverie, and offering him a sherbet lemon.

"No thank you" James said shaking his head at the Professor's offer of a sherbet lemon. He continued "Well sir, I was on my way to charms, my first class when all of a sudden I saw this picture in my head…"

"Can you describe this picture?" Dumbledore inquired.

"Well it was, well it was a picture of a girl with red hair lay in a pool of her own life's blood; an emerald encrusted hilt jutting out of her chest, stark against the red of her blood and the navy of the sky. At the time I didn't know that it was Lily, but I ran where this sort of tugging at my heart told me to go, and it led me to her." James explained shakily.

"I see." Dumbledore murmured , letting none of his feelings show through his normally expressive eyes.

"Professor? Do you know why I got that picture of Lily in my head?" James asked hesitantly.

Dumbledore took off his half moon glasses and carefully folded them and laid them on his desk. "James, I believe that you have a special connection with Lily. One so strong that you will do _anything to keep her from dieing. Do you understand James?"_

"I-I think so…"James said as his forehead creased in thought.

"Very well. Keep her safe James, the future of wizard kind could depend upon you two." Dumbledore said with a tone of finality.

"I-I'll try," James said nervously.

"Very well. That is all I ask of you. I believe that you will find Professor Satre waiting outside of the gargoyle, if you could let her in? Thank you for coming James." Dumbledore said as he put his glasses back on.

"Of course, Sir. Goodnight," James said as he exited and kept the gargoyle open to let the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in, "Hello Professor." James said politely.

"Hello James. I don't doubt that you'll want to go find your friends, I believe I last saw them sneaking off to the kitchens," Professor Satre said with a wink.

"Thanks Professor," James said smiling quickly before sinking back into thought as he headed off towards the kitchens.

James had a lot to think about.

_~*^*~_

Well, that's it for today, I hope that you like it… it is 1055 word long, my longest chappie yet… yippee! Anyways please review!!!!


	7. Lifelines

Thank you! All of my loverly reviewers!!

Anarane Anwamane – thank you very much!

MonkeyGurl1 – thanx!

Bon – I never said that she was smart…lol anyways, she didn't actually die, now did she?

WolfMoon – I don't think that it's really soon, but hey… thanx!

Jojo – I'll try to get them together soon!

Lost-Lil-Gurl – thank you very mucho!!

Avlyn – I always will update just sometimes it will take longer!

freakyfroggurl22 – yeah I guess it would be scary… anyways thanx!!

Shinning Crystal – lol! I'm sorry about Ravenclaw! I'll try to not put that in any of my others!

Ami N Aya – yeah, I don't quite think OOTP was quite up to par, but hey I've definitely read worse!

JerseyGirl03 – thanx!

MandaB – eaten by bugs… fun fun fun! Lol! Thanx!

Brit – that would be the common consensus… Thanx!

Mrs.Silence DoGood – thanx! And I very much agree!

Lorelei – I swear I'll try to make longer chapters!

Demeter, Goddess of Protection – I'll try to slow them down, but seriously, I didn't mean love when Dumbledore told him about his connection, he doesn't even know her yet… so yeah. I'll let you draw your own conclusions…

Ok, now on with the story! *imagine sir cardigan rushing forwards with his sword out…* tee hee!

_~*^*~_

"Can I please, please, please go?!?!" Lily begged from her bed, "I'm perfectly fine now! See!" Lily pulled up her shirt to show the matron the area where she had stabbed herself, "All better now!"

"Well…"

"Please say yes! Please!" Lily begged, wanting to desperately get out of the hospital after being in there for 2 excruciatingly long days.

"I guess so…" the nurse started, "however I have to give you one last checkup before you go."

"Ok." Lily said as she swung her legs over the side of the small hospital bed and waited impatiently for Madame Pomfrey to complete her inspection. 

It was the Thursday evening after the fateful day at the north tower, and as Lily glanced outside of the slightly frosted windows she noticed that a lot of time seemed to have passed. Winter seemed a lot closer then it had seemed before. 

With a final nod and shooing motion from Madame Pomfrey, Lily jumped off of the bed, grabbed her personals from the night table and escaped into the hallway, where she ran right into someone. 

"Oh I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed as bent down to help her pick up her belongings from the floor.

"It's Ok," she said "it was my fault." She glanced up at him and gasped when she saw who it was. 

James Potter.

He glanced up into her face and quickly ducked his head, "Um… I – er  I gotta go…" He put her things into her arms and quickly walked away, towards the Entrance Hall.  

Lily slowly stood up and then without a further thought made her way mechanically back to the Ravenclaw common room.

_~*^*~_

Lily dumped her belongings onto her bed and quickly sorted through them. She methodically put them away and then grabbed a bottle of bubble bath soap smelling of lavender. She walked into the large bathroom that was shared by the 5 Ravenclaw fourth years and locked the door behind her. Despite Lily being in a higher grade, she still roomed with the fourth years. All of her roommates were smart, yet not bookworms. All in all they were quite nice and they could have made wonderful friends. However Lily brushed those thoughts from her mind as she stripped away her clothes. She quickly filled the tub with pleasantly warm water and then she emptied a portion of the bubbles into the water. Slowly she stepped into the water and slid down until it tickled the back of her neck. With a sigh she relaxed and let her thoughts float away with her.

Baths always seemed to comfort her. It was almost like being wrapped in a warm blanket, only this smelled better. Much better.

_~*^*~_

James fled from the areas surrounding the hospital wing and made his way to the Entrance Hall. Glancing outside one of the large stained glass windows, James saw a lonesome snowflake make its way down through the cloudy sky. It was rather early in October for it to be snowing, but James didn't care as he escaped the confines of the school. James favorite season was winter, simply because of the peace and serenity that it spread over the world. When everything was covered in snow it created an unblemished look to the land. It almost erased the evils of man kind. Almost.

_~*^*~_

When Lily got up the next morning she slowly opened the curtains round her bed. She peeked out and upon further inspection she noted that it was 7 in the morning. She slowly got out of her bed and went to the washroom to brush her teeth. By the time she got back, the rest of her roommates were stirring sleepily in the bright morning sunlight which was leaking through the sole window in the blue and bronze room. Lily quickly slipped into her school uniform and shrugged a sweater on overtop. She threw her robe on and quickly left the room of slowly waking fourth years. Lily slowly made her way downstairs as she shuffled through her school bag which she had grabbed with her robes. Finding her quill, Lily stuck it in her mouth and began searching for the piece of parchment which held her homework assignments. Lily found it just as she made her way into the common room. Sitting down at a plush chair situated in front of a table Lily glanced at the list of homework assignments. She had finished most of it during the two mind numbing days she had spent in the hospital wing. She only had one essay left to do. It was for Defense against the Dark Arts, which she always had just before lunch, on Fridays. Glancing at her watch, she noted that she still had 45 minutes before breakfast started at eight. 

Lily adeptly took out a piece of parchment and her ink pot and started wrighting her essay.

In twenty minutes time Lily was finished her essay, which she rolled up and put into her bag. Lily decided to just go to the Great Hall and wait for breakfast there.

_~*^*~_

James slowly walked down the corridor to the Great Hall, not caring that there still was almost 25 minutes before breakfast. His mind was on other things. It had been since Dumbledore had talked to him about Lily's attempted suicide. He still couldn't figure out what Dumbledore had meant about the two of them having a connection. If it meant that whenever she was close to dying he would see her half dead, well then, he hoped she didn't try to kill herself too often because it's bloody scary to see someone die in your head. James suddenly was knocked from his thoughts when he walked straight into the doors to the Great Hall.

"Oww…" James quietly whined as he rubbed his head and opened the doors. He stepped into the silent hall which was empty of everyone except for one lonely figure at the Ravenclaw table, which he recognized as Lily. Silently James walked up to the still girl who almost appeared to be meditating. As he neared her he noticed a scent of lavender in the air which he found absolutely delicious. He paused for a moment to take in the breathtaking scent. Then slowly he continued until he was standing behind her. The lavender aroma was even stronger now that he was closer to her. With a smile James tapped her on the shoulder.

_~*^*~_

Lily sat silently at the Ravenclaw table, fidgeting internally, however on the outside she was the perfect mask of calm indifference.

Suddenly she heard a thump come from the doors to the Great Hall. A quiet 'ow' was heard followed by the creak of the carved doors opening. Lily still sat silent vigil at her table however, not even acknowledging the strangers presence. 

Lily heard him although barely, come walking up behind her, although when the intruder was a few feet away, he stopped. After a moment although, he continued, halting just behind her shoulder. 

_~*^*~_

James stealthily tapped Lily on the shoulder and was surprised when she turned around with no expression of surprise on her face. 

"Um…" He faltered for a moment before regaining his equilibrium, "Is this seat taken?" He gestured to the seat beside her.

With a mistrustful look on her face, Lily slowly shook her head.

"May I sit there?"

"I guess." Lily mumbled, unused to the politeness he was displaying towards her.

James stepped over the bench and then sat down next to the shocked girl.

"Hello, my name is James Potter."

"Yes, I already knew that."

"Oh."

After a moments silence Lily continued, "My name is Lily Evans."

"Ah hah!" James exclaimed, as if he had just found a clue to a mystery, "I knew your first name but not your last. However, I still don't know your middle name, and I'll bet you don't know mine."

Lily looked at James slightly frightened, but then she quickly looked up at the sound of a small group of first year Hufflepuffs making their way into the Great Hall.

"You'd better get back to your table." She mumbled embarrassedly as she turned to face her plate again.

James mumbled an answer as he got up from the Ravenclaw table and made his way back to the Gryffindor table where he sat dejectedly until his friends made their way down.

Lily however sat dejectedly for all of breakfast.

_~*^*~_

All of Lily's classes up to DADA passed without event. Either due to the fact that she didn't have any of them with Gryffindor or due to the fact that no one other than James, his posse, Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey knew about her near death experience. However in DADA everything seemed to come unraveled. 

Professor Satre had decide that they would do a group project on the essays they had wrote. (The Unforgivables: Why are they so Unforgivable? Discuss.) This would have been fine with the class, had she not mentioned that she would be picking the pairs. 

As the class groaned Professor Satre started to read out the groups. "Boot and Moon, Figg and Lutick, Macdougal and Finnegan…"

Lily tuned out as she waited for her name to be called.

Suddenly Satre called out "Evans, Lupin and Black. You three will have and extra person since we have an odd number of people in this class. Alright now everyone get out your essays and hand them in…" The professor continued to explain the project and Lily gathered that essentially, what you had to do was research one of the curses and find any counter curses etc. 

Eventually the professor finished her explanation and she let them get into groups. Lily slowly slumped over to the area of desks at which her partners sat. She parked herself in a chair next to the two mock fighting boys and waited patiently for them to finish. When they finally noticed her a good ten minutes later, they had the grace to look slightly embarrassed however they still had smirks on their visages.  

As they settled down Lily asked which curse they wanted to research. Both of them immediately replied "Avada Kedavra". With a sigh Lily nodded her head. This was going to be a lot of work.

_~*^*~_

Lily sat in the library slowly scanning through a huge tome she had retrieved from the restricted section, with permission from the librarian. With a sigh she turned a page but jumped when she felt someone tap her shoulder. She slowly turned her face and looked up at the countenances of Remus and Sirius.

"Hello Lily Darling! How are you?" Sirius inquired as he sat down next to her.

"Hello…"

"Lily, we wanted to, or at least I did, to apologize for how I acted in the hospital, I was on a rather sugar high and I was acting quite unlike myself…" Remus said before he was interrupted.

"That, however is how I always act," Sirius exclaimed striking a pose. 

Lily let out a small giggle before turning back to Remus "That's Ok," She said before turning back to the dusty text.

Sirius then proceeded to poke her in the back of the head. "Whatcha doing?" He asked as innocently as a five year old.

"Researching our defense project…" Lily stated with a sigh.

"We'll help; I mean it is our project too!" Remus exclaimed after a quick warning glance at Sirius.

Lily looked up hopefully, "Really?" she asked.

"Of course!" Sirius said as he stood up. The two boys then set off in search of books. A few minutes later, with many more books, they returned and started searching. Occasionally chatting and forming the lifelines for a tentative friendship with the reclusive Ravenclaw.

_~*^*~_

A/N: WOW!!!! I made it longer as a tribute to all of you ppls out there! I hope that you like it… it doesn't have to much plot in it, but I think that there ids more character development…. Anyways, you know the drill, click the little button down there and leave me a review!!!

Luv you lots!

~Phedre~


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